Current mood:

weird

WEIRD DREAM
Oh man, I had such a weird dream...wait'll you hear this...it was SO WEIRD...so, I'm like, in a car, right, and it's kinda like my car, but my car is bright white, like a kitchen appliance, but this dream car was like an OFF-WHITE. Like kind of a grayish white like expensive stationary that you buy to put your resume on but then instead you just say oh, to heck with it, I guess I'll just keep working at this same job I've had for awhile because it's kind of a bitch interviewing for new jobs and so the stationary ends up getting used for grocery lists and then you're reminded that you really should get a better job when you're in the produce aisle and you should be concentrating on getting the best possible kiwi?

So I'm in this car, in this dream, which is off-white, which is pretty weird, but then I remember that I need to get some paper towels, because I keep forgetting to buy them, and then if I spill something I have to wipe it up with like a kitchen towel or a sock or something, which seems wasteful, although maybe it's actually less wasteful to do a little extra laundry than to add to the landfills, I'm not sure?

So I stop at this store, which is like a convenience store, but they also sell SHOES. Isn't that weird? Who ever heard of a convenience store that sells shoes? And I find the paper towels? but they're like near the potato chips, not with the other paper products? WEIRD. And then when I get to the register the clerk rings me up, after I stand in line behind a guy who's buying those substandard no-brand cookies that convenience stores stock in opaque boxes so you can't see that they're kind of smallish and grayer than you'd think from the picture on the box?

And the clerk says that'll be 2 dollars and 87 cents, which is more than I like to pay for paper towels but I knew I'd pay more for the convenience of going to the convenience store, you know? but I look through my pockets and I thought I had a five dollar bill but it was just a one dollar bill? WEEEIRD! But I also have some change and it's like five quarters and a couple dimes so I'm just 42 cents short? You know?

But then I remember that outside in my car (which is, you'll remember,OFF-White) I have some returnable bottles, so I tell the clerk to go ahead and help the old lady behind me in line and I'll get the returnable bottles so I can buy the paper towels? And I go out to the car and I have like five bottles?

So I go back in but the clerk says, the bottle return area is in the back, so I go to the back of the store, behind where the shoes are, which is so weird to sell shoes in a convenience store? And I start putting the bottles in this machine and all the bottles are the same? they're Celebrator beer bottles, which have the little plastic goat with them? But I collect the goats so the empties don't have goats on them? But I get to the LAST BOTTLE, and the machine won't take it, even though it's the SAME AS ALL THE OTHER BOTTLES??? It just keeps ejecting the bottle? So I'm just 2 cents short, but they really should take my bottle, but none of the convenience store staff know how to operate the machine because it's run by some outside vending company?

And then this guy in line I don't even know with a fedora (a fedora!!!) says here, man, I have 2 cents (WEIRD), so I FINALLY buy my paper towels and then I go home, and as soon as I get home I realize I left the extra bottle in the eject slot? So somebody else gets my returnable bottle? And then I open my last Celebrator beer and watch TV, but there's LESS COMMERCIALS ON than usual. Like only two commercial breaks per half hour instead of three?????? And then I spill my beer a little and wipe it up WITH A PAPER TOWEL!!!!

Isn't that weird?? I'm still totally freakin' out.